Insane Earthlings

Is there a war on Christmas?   For several years, I have been adamant in answering this question with a big “NO!” After all, as an educated, southern liberal married to a Jewish woman, I would certainly have inside information if there was a war on Christmas. Weren’t the conservative Christians accusing the liberal elite of stopping them from saying Merry Christmas?   I am inclined to identify myself with the very people that the poor Christmas-loving victims have accused of attempting to rob them of their Holly-Jollys. If there were such a plot, I would know. I’m on the inside. I would have been brought into the fold on this conspiracy. But alas, no one ever asked me to attend a secret meeting in which we plot to overthrow Santa Claus. However, I have concluded that the war on Christmas is real. Only it’s not the politically-correct liberal elite that have conspired to rob us of real Christmas joy. In the eyes of the conservative Christian, the biggest piece of evide...

On September 2, 1999, a tropical wave exited the coast of Africa. Far away to the Northwest a young man and his wife were visiting a Doctor that specialized in high risk pregnancies. The mother-to-be was a petite woman and had stayed petite throughout the thirty-six weeks of carrying a developing child in her womb. This concerned the Doctors. Tummies are supposed to grow big when you are this far along on the course to reach the 40 weeks of a full-term pregnancy. The Doctors had suggested a milkshake each night. The father-to-be greatly enjoyed this suggestion, and eagerly joined his wife in this nightly ritual as an act of solidarity. His tummy grew, but the woman’s belly barely changed. The soon-to-be first time parents were a little nervous, but somehow knew everything would be OK. They supported each other and were deeply in love. Meanwhile, the tropical wave made its way across the Atlantic Ocean. Two other strong forces of nature were plotting a devious plan as they awa...