This will be the most difficult Thanksgiving of all. This
November 22nd, 2018 will be the first celebrating without either of
my parents. We lost Mom almost three years ago, and Dad left this earth seven
months ago. We were fortunate to have both of our parents well into our own
adulthoods. Even so, I must confess that I am struggling daily to fully immerse
myself into my own life. I want to be as fully alive as both of my parents
always seemed to be. But my struggle to reconnect to joy and enthusiasm in my daily
life, let alone Holidays, is under assault. The country that I love seems to be
collapsing into chaos and hell-bent on self-destruction. The torrent of bad
news leaves me wondering just what should we be thankful for.
As fires rage across California and Hurricanes become more
frequent and fierce every year, we close our eyes and ears and pretend that our
own greed is not contributing to the global climate change that spurs these
events. Our children are massacred at
music festivals, in dance clubs, and in their schools. Our neighbors are
murdered in the streets or even in their place of worship. The death toll is
rising and yet we cling to archaic beliefs about our sacred right to own
weapons of mass destruction. We sacrifice the security of our children and our
neighbors by failing over and over to put away our childish obsession with guns
capable of killing dozens of human beings in a just a few minutes. We elected
leaders who campaigned with a message of hate and fear-mongering. Yet, we act
surprised when those leaders heartlessly rip children from their mothers’ arms
and cruelly separate them from each other. In some ways, I am glad that my
parents are not here to witness how harsh and cruel our own society has become.
Yet, I know in my heart, that Mom and Dad also lived through
dark times. World War II raged throughout their formative years. They witnessed
the bigotry and hatred that brutalized peaceful marchers for civil rights. They
worried that their sons may have to someday go to Vietnam and never return as
had happened to so many other peoples’ sons. They watched television news that
broadcast the new normal of assassination as a way of defeating those who lead
progressive movements. And they too lost their own parents along the way.
Despite all the horror that went on in the world, they somehow managed to find
joy in life every day. They were fully present in their own lives and always mindful
of how blessed that they were to have each other, a family, and a roof over our
heads.
The day after Dad died, I gathered with my three siblings at
his apartment at Plantation Estates. My brother, Randy, opened Dad’s computer,
as we looked for important documents. But as we all stood together, Randy found
a gift left for us just a few months before. Dad had left a message for us in
his Word documents. We were blown away. In just a few sentences, he told us
exactly what we needed to hear. And as I head into this Thanksgiving, I am
going to do my best to heed his words. I am going to do my best to be fully
engaged in my life. I’m going to remember how blessed we are to have had the
best parents, to have each other, to have my own wife and children, and a roof
over our heads.
Here are the words that my father left for his children:
To my children – this
is jan 11th 2018. I am going through a lot of procedures to see about putting a new aorta valve in my
heart. I hope it will be successful – but if not and in case I dont make it –
dont worry about me. I think your Mother
may be able to sneak me into heaven with
her and I will be happy. I have had wonderful life with your Mother and
all of you children – and now all the grandkids and great grandkids.- I have no
regrets but just happy moments. Proud of all of you and wish you much peace and
happiness in this old world. Love you all - Dad
May you all have no regrets, but only happy moments this
Thanksgiving season. May you find peace and happiness in this old world.
