Me and Uncle Ted

I want to tell you all about my Uncle Ted or Theron C. Teagle, Sr. Many people knew him much better than I. But each of us all have our own private relationships with the people in our lives. So, each of us have as many stories of who we are, as there are people in our lives. Even those that we have only brief encounters with may develop a story of who we are if the encounter is especially unique or emotional. Uncle Ted died this past Monday at age 94. He was the widower of my late Aunt Mary Josephine, my father's sister. Together, they were Aunt Jo and Uncle Ted. Uncle Ted was the last living member of my parent's generation of our family. His passing makes the absence of my own parents seem even more distant. He was the last one to have real live memories of my father as a boy, the little brother to his girl, Mary Jo. 

If we had held a contest of superlatives among the Franklin-Teagle clan, Uncle Ted would have won "best-looking" hands down. The Franklins tend to grow into adults that are a bit soft around the middle. Uncle Ted stood out at the family gatherings. There was no softness in his middle. As a former Golden Gloves Boxer, he looked the part. Broad shoulders, a straight and strong posture, and square jawed. In some photos he looks like he could be a famous movie star. He might appear a bit intimidating at first glance. But if you caught his attention, his face would soften, and his eyes took on a kind and welcoming shape.

 

As a child, I was shy and a bit nervous around groups that were as large as the gatherings of our extended family. I was the youngest of all my cousins and teenagers could be a bit too much for a six- or seven-year-old me. They were all kind to me, and all attempted to involve me in their activities. Uncle Ted seemed to have a knack for spotting when I might be feeling overwhelmed or occasionally left out. He would call, " Scott! Come over here. I want to talk with you a little bit." And I would go and talk with him. Maybe I am imagining it, but he seemed to be especially fond of me. That is probably the benefit of being the baby of the family.  Uncle Ted was not the type to suddenly pick me up or try to get to the bottom of what might be bothering me.

 

Instead, he would talk to me in a way that showed he had interest in me. He asked me questions. He asked what I thought about this or that. Sometimes, when he sensed that I was comfortable enough, he might put out his hands and say, "Come sit up here with me." And I felt safe in his strong arms. And I was fascinated by the tattoo of an anchor on his forearm. He did not want to talk about it too much. He said that I should never get one because you must live with it the rest of your life. On the rare occasion that I have considered a tattoo, I hear Uncle Ted's ominous warning about not being able to get rid of it.

 

It was not until the age of FaceBook that I began to see that not all our family members were on the same page politically. Politics were not really discussed at polite gatherings. Unfortunately, this new virtual space became an impolite gathering space. Impolite subjects are discussed and debated and argued. I can tell you that as far as politics was concerned, Uncle Ted and I were on opposite sides of most issues. But that does not change the way I knew him. I knew him as a man who took the time, always, to make sure that he and I would have one on one time at every family gathering. He continued to be interested in what I was up to and how me and my family were doing. He did not just inquire about our lives, he listened. And you knew he was listening because he had follow-up questions to every answer given.

I called Uncle Ted a few months ago. It had been a couple of years since I had last talked with him. He sounded exactly as he always had. At 93 years old he was clearly more mentally sharp than I have ever been in my life.  I had questions. I asked him about my dad as a boy. Uncle Ted was able to clarify some facts for me about the various spots in Charlotte that Dad and my grandmother had lived after my grandfather died at a very young age. We talked about Charlotte and how it has changed, we talked about my real estate business that I had just started. Uncle Ted gave me some excellent business advice. He had a real grasp for the economic changes happening in Charlotte versus Columbia where he lived most of his later half of life. It was one of the nicest conversations that I had in a while. We even said "I love you" to each other as we hung up our phones. Those were the last words between us. And the most important ones that we ever said to one another.

 

 

 

A Vote for a Boat

Ken and Tommy

The voting room.

Mom and Dad had called a family meeting. We were all expected to attend. That would be me, my sister, and my two brothers. This was in the 1970's when I was 8 or 9 years old. Our parents were not usually "family meeting" type people. For most issues there was not a reason to have meetings or even discussions. It was as if Mom and Dad were of one mind that was always on the same page. We did not typically vote on decisions effecting the family. Under normal conditions, our parents were autocrats. Benevolent, but make no mistake, they called the shots.  The uniqueness of my parents calling a family meeting is partly why the details seem so clear in my mind. Although the topic of the meeting is more likely the reason that I can recall the scene so vividly. Our family was about to vote on something that would change our lives.

 

For months, our family had been making plans and saving money to go on a trip to Puerto Rico. We even had one of those big, glass milk jugs to throw our spare change in to help pay for the trip. Everyone had been pitching in to make it possible for us to travel to this tropical paradise. The reason Puerto Rico was chosen was that my Aunt Jo and Uncle Ted Teagle had moved there with their four kids. Uncle Ted had a job assignment that required they spend a couple of years living on what seemed like a magical island to me. My cousin Ted even had a pet monkey. (Or at least I think he did). We were all excited about going to see our cousins and vacationing on the beaches among the palm trees.

 

But here we were sitting around our dining room table about to have a meeting. We weren't having dinner or playing a board game like would normally happen at tis table. Mom got our attention and said that Dad had an announcement to make, and that after he made it, we were going to take a vote. This was getting interesting. We were all going to decide something together, as a family. Dad cleared his throat and said, "I spoke with Mary Jo this morning and they are moving back to the Carolinas sooner than expected. In fact, they will be back here a couple of weeks before we are scheduled to be in Puerto Rico." Suddenly it was like a scene from The Brady Bunch, everyone talking over each other and asking Dad what we were going to do. At least one of my siblings was already saying that they still wanted to go on the trip, automatically assuming that is what we were about to vote on.  And it was, but there was an important twist to this family decision. A twist that would change the course of the next couple of decades of my life.

 

After a few minutes of the noisy debate about taking the trip even if our cousins were not there anymore, Dad hollered, "Simmer down!". That one always worked. As we quieted down, Dad went on, "Now I know that everyone has been really looking forward to making this trip. And even though the Teagles would not be there, we could still go to Puerto Rico. And I am sure we would make great memories there that would last some time." He glanced over at Mom and continued, "Between what is in the milk jug and the money your mother and I set aside, we have the money it would take to pay for the trip and a place to stay." We were all starting to feel a little glum about right now. My enthusiasm for visiting this magic island kind of deflated when I heard that we would not know anyone there. I think my siblings were suspicious that this vote was going to be about more than just whether we go on this trip. There had been times before when dad would bring home a brochure all about some new and fancy car. Dad would say and it looks like we can afford it. But, without fail, he would ultimately decide on something more practical and more in line with what we could really afford. It looked like this meeting may have been headed in that direction. We were thinking: Here it comes...responsible with money... blah blah, blah...we must be practical...blah,blah,blah.

 

Dad

We were wrong. Dad continued, "Like I was saying, we could go on the trip, and we would have one wonderful memory." He paused. He looked at Mom, who was beaming back at him. Mom was excited about something. You could tell that she wanted to just blurt out whatever it was that dad was taking his time getting to. Dad said, "One great memory, or we could use this money we saved, buy a boat and make lots of memories on lake Norman. We could even take it to the waterway when we go to the beach."  Now we were all excited. Dad reminded us that we still had to vote. He said we would vote by secret ballot so that no one would be worried about putting down what they really wanted on the slip of paper that Mom handed out. 

 

We all cast our ballots and put them into a candy dish that Mom held out for each of us to place our vote in. We were all giddy by this point. Dad was smiling and made some sort of funny, but official sounding proclamation about the civic demonstration of democracy at work. Then he began to count the votes, "The first vote says." And he turned the paper so we could see my 8-year-old handwriting spelling out BOAT. We all laughed. The next vote was also boat. It ended up being unanimous.

 

Dad did not change his mind this time. We had been spending lots of time at Lake Norman but were dependent on others to let us join them on their boats. Now we would have our own.  We had a permanent campsite at a campground and marina on Lake Norman. I think that my brother Tommy went with Dad to get the boat. Tommy showed back up at the campsite having driven the car and the new boat trailer back from the boat lot. Dad was navigating his way down the main channel and due to arrive in our cove at any moment.

 

And here he came. I fell in love with the boat immediately. It was a 16' Larson Tri-hull, bowrider with an 85 horsepower Mercury outboard motor. When Dad rounded the bend back toward our cove it looked like the boat was going so fast. I know now that its top speed was 32 mph, but that is still a fun speed on a boat. The Larsen was yellow and white. It had a cool zigzag in the stripe that ran down the side of it. I would go on to have many adventures in that boat.

 

The vote my family took that night changed almost everything that was to come in my life. It was a determining factor in my parent's decision to move to Lake Norman when I was twelve years old. That meant I would have to change schools. I would be leaving my friends from the old neighborhood. I'd have to make new friends. But those were just small things. The real change, for me, set in motion by that vote, was my lifelong love of boats, lakes, and waterways. Boats may be a hole in the water that you throw money in as my father used to say. But the innumerable memories of skiing along behind Mom and Dad's evening sunset boat rides, taking all my friends to the lake side reggae shows, and anchoring in private coves for a cool swim were worth every penny we put in that hole in the water.  

Where Butterflies Perch on Teeth

"...where butterflies perch on teeth..." Bob Dylan, Nobel Acceptance Speech

 

Where Butterflies Perch On Teeth 

 

On this snow quiet morning

before the new day's dawning

I finally had the time to review

my "watch later" list on YouTube.

I wandered aimlessly

through recordings of reality,

videography, pixelated digitally.

Clips put aside with the intention

of watching when I could pay attention.

On this snow quiet morning

before the new day's dawning,

I unexpectedly and happily found

profound words captured in the sound

of the voice of a prophetic poet

Bob Dylan, the Nobel laureate.

In his cadence, his rhythm, and rhyme

he uttered words that were so sublime,

they secured his literary designation,

and were themselves, a revelation.

On this snow quiet morning

as the new day is dawning,

I understand the meaning beneath

 "where butterflies perch on teeth."