Unwritten Verses

I once knew the world in which I lived. I also tried not to allow myself to be complacent. But I must have fallen asleep. Complacency is like a sneaky narcotic. You can’t even remember when you first tasted it even after you are deeply addicted to it.

Complacency and conformity enjoy the company of one another. The numbing effect of complacency allows your soul to tolerate conformity. And conformity is like a whirlpool trying to suck us downward. When things get busy and tough, it is near impossible to not just give up. It begins to feel that the easiest thing to do is the best thing to do. Conformity disguises itself as safety. But it will eventually reveal its true nature and leave you shaken to your core that you allowed it to happen.

The universe will always sound out a giant wake up call that either destroys you or shakes you and wakes you into action. For too long, I have been stuck between the temptation to just fall back into complacency or finding the will rip down all of its illusions of safety.

Then, every day brings news that reminds me that I need to just break free and live life to its fullest for myself and my family. Nothing is more important than that.

These events keep coming at me trying to shake me from my slumber. They are taunting me. They are screaming at me to get my shit together and make the most of this life. They shout at me to quit playing it safe. Take a chance, dance in the sunlight, sing as loud as you can, get bruised and banged up, but just make sure you are really alive!

I feel like I have been living in the first verse of “Sunday, Bloody, Sunday” by U2 for years.

“I can't believe the news today
 Oh, I can't close my eyes
 And make it go away
 How long?
 How long must we sing this song?”

But I know the news will just keep coming. It’s been sounding like an alarm in my ears for weeks now.

And this morning the phone rang earlier than usual. And the news came even harder and more disturbingly than ever before.

I can’t believe it.

I can’t make it go away.

But I refuse to keep singing the same song.

I’m not sure where that will lead me. I don’t know what words will be in the unwritten verses. From now on, I’m making up my own melody and lyrics.

And I will find the rhythm that works for me and the people I love.